Carter has been going to daycare (at least once a week) since he was 3 months old....you'd think I'd be used to dropping him off at someone's home and going to work.....It has only become WORSE for me to leave him!
I have loved some of the homes he's gone to, like Ashley and Hunter's or Miss Laura's, and it's not that I don't trust this new lady with my son....it's the fact that in Carter's eyes I'm the MEAN MOM that leaves him at some strange home for who knows how long!
Today was the first day of his new daycare (because I'm still employed until the end of November) and I knew it wasn't going to be easy.....but it has NEVER been this HARD!!!!! My poor little man stood in their living room screaming for me as I had to just walk away and head to work.
If you've ever had to leave your child at daycare, you know what I'm going through right now. For those of you who haven't CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY! It's the WORST feeling in the world to know that your son is screaming and crying for you and you have to just walk away and go to work. I don't wish this feeling on ANYONE!!!!! Scott has the better job, he gets to pick Carter up and look like the "good one" while I have to drop him off and leave him.
I think it's getting harder now that Carter's older because he can say "Mommy no!" as he's crying and reaching up for me....I seriously cried on my way into work today! (I've never done that before) It's just so hard.
I keep telling myself that it's only a matter of 4 months and I'll be done, but it really doesn't make it any easier. It's so hard to come to work now and try to focus on other things while I know Carter's probably still wondering where his mommy's at.
So today is a sad day for me, I called Scott and told him all about it and he really doesn't handle it when I melt down like this. We both want to make our lives better and know that me staying where I'm at for the next couple of months is going to do that, but we're really struggling with the daycare situation. If only Carter knew that this situation is WORSE and HARDER for his parents than on him.....
4 comments:
Hang in there you guys...I know it's hard right now, believe me, but these times come and go and you will become stronger for them. Think back on your life at all the difficult times you've had and realize you made it through those and you're better because of them. Annie and I love and miss you guys!
I can only imagine how hard it must be to leave your child at another persons house all day long. But sometimes we have no choice...my sister has had her kids in daycares since they were 6 weeks old, today they are 6 and 3 years old and are stilling going to someones house all day long. Jentri (my sister) has those bad days that you had today, but they come and go...she feels like she should have been a better mom at times and stayed home, but they wouldn't be where they are today finanically if she had done that.
I can understand how it's harder now that Carter is older, it makes you realize that he's not blind to everything going on, but trust me, I don't think he's been crying and screaming for you all day, I think kids have their tantrums and then they move on to toys or movies...although he misses you, just remember he forgets things a lot easier then you do :)
Maybe it was hard today because it was a new place and tomorrow will be better, and it's only for a few more months, so hang in there. But I'd be balling all the way to work as well, so don't feel bad. And leaving him to make money for your family means you're a great mother!! Sorry for the long comment, reading your post made me sad for you, just wanting to help! :) Hang in there, and I know what you mean about Scott not knowing what to do when you melt down...I think it's a guy thing! John never cares as much as I want him to. :) You're an excellent mother, and I know that Carter knows you love him!
Oh Christie--that just breaks my heart! Poor T-sauce...I know exactly what you mean. It gets SO much harder when they get older and "know" when you are leaving them. It will get easier--hang in there! it will all be worth it in the end :)
Oh Christie I'm sorry! It probably really is harder on you than it is on him. I bet he calms down shortly after you leave and has a great time! I know leaving him must be so hard but if you and Scott feel that you working another four months is best than trust in that. You are doing exactly what you need to give Carter the best life. Give Carter a big hug from us. Hang it here!
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